I'm an Olympic Calibre Swimmer

For a brief period of time in the early 2010s, I lived in an apartment building that had a swimming pool. Since I worked from home, part of my daily routine would be a noon swim for precisely 30 minutes. I loved it.

These days I try and get in the pool at least twice a month, and I still swim laps for 30 minutes. Recently my wife upgraded her Garmin watch and I put on her old one. One of the features of this Garmin watch is the ability to measure your swims, something I could never do with the Strava app on my Google Pixel, on account of the fact I won't immerse it under water.

So now when I swim, I track the activity with this watch and then it syncs to my Strava account. It's always bang-on with regards to how long I swam (obviously) but the other metrics are... well... overly kind.

According to my swim yesterday, my pace was 41s /100m, covering 4,700 metres  in 32:47. True, I did swim my ass off for 32:47, but if I was covering 100 meters in 41 seconds, I'm an absolute prodigy. The world record freestyle swim for 100 meters is currently held by Australian Kyle Chalmers who did it back in 2021 in 44.84 seconds.

Yes folks, you read it here first. I am the fastest 100m swimmer on the planet.