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My dad walked out on us when I was 7 and took everything we owned, reveals Alex Scott

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ALEX Scott was just seven years old when she first understood what it is to be a woman in a man’s world.

It was the moment her father walked out on her and her mum Carol and older brother Ronnie.

Mark Hayman
Alex Scott was just seven when her father walked out on her and her mum Carol and older brother Ronnie[/caption]

“I remember it very clearly,” says the football pro turned pundit and TV presenter.

“We were all there together in our council flat. My dad said he was leaving. Then he said: ‘And if I’m going, I’m taking everything with me.’

“And he basically took everything – the television, the radio… everything in the house until there was nothing.

“I looked at my mum. She let him take everything, she didn’t fight or scream.

Mark Hayman
Alex says her dad ‘took everything’ when he left[/caption]

“There had been enough of that in our house, and that was never something she was going to do.

“I knew in that moment that even though we had nothing, we were going to be OK because we had her.”

The former Arsenal women’s captain and England player, who cemented her status as a household name with her turn on Strictly Come Dancing in 2019, continues: “Things were tough, but we did get by.

“My mum worked as a manager of a pub in the East End, which wasn’t the easiest job, but she never complained.

Getty Images
Alex is one of England’s most respected female footballers[/caption]

“We had a telly with a slot in it and we didn’t always have enough pound coins to turn it on.

“I’d go without new trainers for football, but my mum would always do whatever it took and eventually I’d get those trainers.

“At a very early age, it made me appreciate everything we did have.

“It made me want to work really hard and push myself to my limits so I could never be in a position where everything would be taken away from me again.”

GLOWING WITH HEALTH

This traumatic but pivotal moment in her childhood is something Alex has never talked about publicly.

It is part of the reason why she is the perfect cover star for our International Women’s Day issue.

Rather than buckle, Alex soared and, with the support of her mother, fought her way to the top of an industry traditionally ruled by men – football – before going on to forge a second highly successful career in TV.

We start our chat just minutes after Alex has finished a punishing hour on the Peloton (as a former sportswoman, she still takes her exercise very seriously and tries to work out daily), apologising for looking “very sweaty” when, in fact, she is glowing with health.

We need to be able to acknowledge what we’ve achieved and that, at times, it’s also OK not to always feel strong and in control

Alex Scott

She has spent the past year and its various lockdowns living on her own in her London apartment. For her, it’s been a time of self-discovery.

“Lockdown gives you a lot of time to think,” she says.

“And one of the most important lessons I have learned is about being very real with myself about who I am underneath the mask I present to the outside world.

“I have been very successful in my sporting career and I’ve had success with my presenting.

Mark Hayman
Alex fought her way to the top of an industry traditionally ruled by men[/caption]

“But in the past few years, I’ve realised I’ve never actually allowed myself to enjoy that success because I’ve been so focused on driving myself forward and putting on a happy face.

“So many women feel they have to be like this.

“But we also need to be able to acknowledge what we’ve achieved and acknowledge that, at times, it’s also OK not to always feel strong and in control.”

Alex grew up on an East End council estate and was discovered by an Arsenal scout while playing football with her brother and his friends.

Mark Hayman
Lockdown has been a time of self-discovery for Alex[/caption]

In 1992 – the same year her father left – she was signed to the youth team for the club, and her glittering career as one of England’s most respected female footballers began.

She and many of her low-paid Arsenal Women team mates worked extra jobs (Alex worked in the club’s laundry rooms) to make ends meet while training.

With one eye on a post-footie media career, she studied for a degree in sports writing and broadcasting through the Professional Footballers’ Association, doing work experience and placements while training for the 2015 World Cup.

She submitted her dissertation the night before England’s opening match against France.

BGUK
Alex’s ‘amazing’ mum Carol is still at the centre of her life[/caption]

In 2017, she retired (as the second-most-capped England player, with 140 caps) and began a new career in television, initially as a football pundit on both the BBC and Sky Sports, before going on to front documentaries and some of the BBC’s biggest shows – including last year’s Children In Need and Sports Personality Of The Year – as well as guest presenting on The One Show.

But the start to her broadcast career was far from easy.

As one of the few female football commentators, she suffered a massive backlash from online trolls.

Although she put on her “brave happy face”, it’s only now that she has begun to deal with the impact this had on her mental health.

‘DEATH THREATS’

“I had death threats, I was told I only got the job because of the colour of my skin and because I’m a woman,” she says.

“I’m used to fighting and I’ve always understood because I’m a woman and because of the colour of my skin, I have to work harder and be better to be taken seriously.

“When I was at work I was OK, because it was my safe place and I knew what I was doing.

“But outside of work, I didn’t know how to handle what I was going through.”

Every night when I got home on my own, I’d drink a bottle of wine just so I could sleep

Alex Scott

Keeping up her game face came at the detriment to her wellbeing: “I was hiding what I was really feeling. I was hurt.

“I didn’t think I could talk to anyone about it without seeming weak. But it affected me badly.

“Every night when I got home on my own, I’d drink a bottle of wine just so I could sleep.”

After more than six months of living through this cycle, Alex finally sought therapy in 2019 to help her deal with her issues.

Getty Images
Alex, pictured with Peter Schmeichel, has worked as a football pundit on both the BBC and Sky Sports[/caption]

Ironically, it was only last October that she discovered she was suffering from depression.

She was fronting a BBC documentary on mental health, The Truth About… Improving Your Mental Health, alongside psychologist Professor Tanya Byron, who diagnosed her.

She says: “It actually makes me smile now, because I spoke to Tanya quite a bit about my issues and she talked to me about depression.

“No one – not even my therapist – had ever used that word before.

PA
The former Arsenal women’s captain cemented her status as a household name with her turn on Strictly Come Dancing in 2019 with Neil Jones[/caption]

“It really made me think about how, even towards the end of my football career, I started to withdraw into myself. Tanya told me that I was a functioning depressive.

“I was so used to pushing aside my feelings and focusing on work, but never dealing with those feelings.

“Depression goes in cycles and you learn to live with it and deal with it.

“You do actually have to deal with it, but the most important thing, as women, is to learn to open up and talk to each other about what is really going on with us, and to accept that we can be vulnerable.

Reuters
As one of the few female football commentators, Alex suffered a massive backlash from online trolls[/caption]

“We need to accept that sometimes, however strong you want to appear to the world, you also need help. And we need to look after our mental health.”

In her career, Alex has often had to rely on that tough skin she developed as a child.

When she took part in Strictly in 2019, she fell foul of rumours that she wanted to ditch her partner Neil Jones for her stand-in partner Kevin Clifton, after Neil had been injured.

“It was absolutely untrue,” she says. “But I didn’t let it spoil my enjoyment of the show and of the dancing.”

‘ME OR HER’

Then, last year, she was slammed again by online trolls when a story emerged that she was taking over from Sue Barker on A Question Of Sport.

“To this day, I still have no idea where that story came from,” she says.

“I hadn’t had any conversations with the BBC. Sue Barker is an icon. I think she’s incredible and I could see why people were upset.

“But it came right in the midst of the Black Lives Matter movement, so it was almost the first time in my life that the colour of my skin also became an issue, because that was the reason people assumed I was being given the job. But I had never actually been offered it.

I was that kid from a council estate in an area with very few prospects, and someone took a chance on me

Alex Scott

“What was sad about the whole incident was that it was one woman being pitted against another woman. I don’t believe in that.

“Women like Sue and Gabby Logan are inspirational to me, and we are all in this together to show that we know what we are talking about and that we deserve to be here.

“It shouldn’t be a question of ‘me or her’. It should be that there’s room for all of us.”

Talking to Alex, you can understand why her television career is taking her in a new direction – fronting documentaries, becoming an ambassador for the BBC’s online mental-health hub, BBC Headroom, and being part of a government task force to get sport back on its feet post-Covid.

Getty Images
Alex discovered last October that she was suffering from depression[/caption]

Last year she was given a Royal Television Society Award for Sports Presenter of the Year.

She is driven, she says, by passion and by a desire to make the world a better place – particularly for the young children she meets while travelling to developing countries for Sports Relief and other charities.

“I was that kid from a council estate in an area with very few prospects, and someone took a chance on me,” she says.

“And that is something I carry with me because I feel it is my duty – and my privilege – to give a helping hand to others in similar situations.”

BBC
Professor Tanya Byron diagnosed Alex with depression while she was fronting BBC documentary The Truth About… Improving Your Mental Health[/caption]

She pauses and her thoughts go back to family.

She has no contact with her dad, but her mum is still at the centre of her life, with her brother Ronnie, 38, and niece Skye.

“I wouldn’t be anywhere without them,” she says.

“My mum’s been there for me all my life, supporting me and making me believe I could follow my dreams. She’s an amazing woman.”

BBC
Alex, pictured with Patrick Kielty, has guest presented on The One Show[/caption]

At 36, Alex remains single, something she is often made to feel – as a woman – she has to apologise for.

“There is an implication that there is something wrong with you because you are on your own.

“My life has always been about being independent, making sure you can look after yourself and never wanting to feel that someone can walk out on you and take everything away from you.

“But I do realise that having built myself up, I have to work on knocking down a lot of the invisible walls I have inside me, and that’s what I’m trying to do.

‘CHANGED MY LIFE’

“I’m working on myself so I can deal with someone else. I’m still having therapy and that’s changed my life, but therapy on Zoom in lockdown is hard, so I have good days and bad days.”

She laughs. “And I never seem to have a lot of luck on dates. My one date in ages was going out with Sam [Robertson, Corrie’s smooth-talking Adam Barlow], who is lovely.

“The next morning, our pictures were all over the press because someone in the restaurant had taken a photo. It wasn’t exactly a great start!”

More recently, Alex confesses, she signed up to a dating app in lockdown.

WARNING: Use of this image is subject to the terms of use of BBC Pictures' Digital Picture
Alex confesses that she signed up to a dating app in lockdown[/caption]

“But I haven’t actually dared go on it,” she says.

“I am completely hopeless, but every time I think about it, it just doesn’t seem natural to me, so absolutely nothing has happened.

“But who knows what the future will bring? All I know is that I’m ready to take on the next challenge – whatever it is.”

  • Alex has launched Headroom, a mental health toolkit, with the BBC. Visit bbc.co.uk/headroom

Girl talk

Which woman has been the greatest inspiration to you?

The most inspirational woman for me ever and forever is my mum.

Best advice from a woman?

Billie Jean King said it in her book – “pressure is a privilege”.

The female friend you couldn’t do without?

Michelle Visage. We met on Strictly and just clicked. She knows all about putting on a mask, but she also accepts who she is under that mask.

Female public figures you admire?

Serena Williams, Michelle Obama and many more. But I specifically want to say Michaela Coel. What she’s done over the past couple of years is remarkable. She’s written and directed while staying true to her vision and work, despite the noise. I admire her strength and talent.

Which woman has inspired you the most through your career?

My mum! From the very start until now, this answer will always be my mum. She’s always been there to encourage me to be the very best. Her selflessness is something I’ll always treasure.

The woman who’s supported you the most at work?

BBC producer Louise Sutton. She saw something in me and believed in my broadcasting future. She has always been real and honest with feedback and support.

Biggest unsung heroine?

I’d love to put this as plural: heroines – for all of the female (and male) key workers. So NHS doctors, nurses, porters and cleaners, as well as teachers and care workers – they’ve all shown who the real heroes are.

GOT a story? RING The Sun on 0207 782 4104 or WHATSAPP on 07423720250 or EMAIL exclusive@the-sun.co.uk

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