How Warriors-Rockets became the nap game of Christmas day

The Warriors pulled the upset over Houston, 116-104, in a game that was way more exciting than we thought.

The Houston Rockets and Golden State Warriors’ 5:00 p.m. ET Christmas day time slot was the matchup the NBA hoped to hype as much as the Los Angeles Lakers vs. Clippers one that follows it. The two franchises that hate each other most squaring off at the peak hour of the holiday basketball has claimed should’ve been filled with three-point shots, on-court scuffles, and snitching to the league office. Instead, it’s debatably the best game to nap through.

The Warriors dynasty has fallen so drastically that it’s not even all that satisfying for fans of the 29 other teams to watch. They’ve been asking, even begging for the Warriors collapse over the last two years. But not like this.

Since the beginning of 2019 NBA Finals, the Warriors have lost Kevin Durant to an Achilles injury and free agency departure to the Brooklyn Nets, Klay Thompson to a torn ACL, Stephen Curry to a broken hand, Andre Iguodala to a trade, Shaun Livingston to retirement, and DeMarcus Cousins and Quinn Cook to free agency. The only active players remaining from last season are Draymond Green, Kevon Looney and Damion Lee on a two-way contract. The only noteworthy acquisition is D’Angelo Russell.

To the surprise of no one, this team absolutely stinks. They’re debatably the worst team in the league alongside the Knicks. This is a throwaway year even though Curry and Thompson are both expected to return at some point this season. The hole the team’s digging itself into is likely to be too much for even them to overcome.

The Rockets are having an extremely Rockets season themselves. They’re launching threes, shying away from long-twos, and James Harden is dominating the offense as maybe the greatest isolation player of all time. He’s scoring 39 points per game, so if you aren’t a fan of his style of play, good luck sitting through 48 minutes. He’s now co-starring with another polarizing figure, Russell Westbrook, which could be the final blow to your chances of watching this one.

Who are the Warriors?

Here’s who’s left, and how they got here:

• D’Angelo Russell (starter): Arrived via trade with the Brooklyn Nets for Kevin Durant over the summer. Recouping a loss like Durant’s with a player of Russell’s caliber is better than nothing, right? Right?!
• Draymond Green (starter): You know him.
• Glenn Robinson III (starter, lol): Yes, he’s Glenn Robinson’s son. He signed a two-year deal with the Warriors over the summer. Before Golden State, he played for the Pistons, and for the three years before that he played for the Pacers.
• Damion Lee (starter, yeesh): Lee is on a two-way contract with Golden State. He was on the team last year. You may also remember him as Steph Curry’s brother-in-law.
• Willie Cauley-Stein (starter, yikes): Cauley-Stein also signed with the Warriors over the summer, after DeMarcus Cousins left. He played four up-and-down years with the Kings before joining Golden State.
• Eric Paschall: A first-year player from Villanova who the Warriors took No. 41 in the 2019 draft. He could make an All-Rookie team.
• Alec Burks: Burks signed with the Warriors this summer after playing for the Cavaliers, Kings and Jazz last year.
• Ky Bowman: He’s on a two-way contract with the Warriors after going undrafted this past summer.
• Kevon Looney: He’s played with the Warriors for the last five years.
• Marquese Chriss: He was the No. 8 pick in the 2016 draft, with failed stints with the Suns, Cavs, and Rockets.
• Jordan Poole: The Warriors drafted Poole No. 28 in the 2019 draft.
• Omari Spellman: The Warriors traded Damian Jones and a 2026 second-round pick for Spellman over the summer. He was the No. 30 pick in the 2018 draft.
• Jacob Evans: He was the Warriors’ No. 28 pick in the 2018 draft.

Are any of them good?

There are a few Warriors to pay attention to. Draymond Green is still rolling, even though his play has declined since the peak of the dynasty years. He’s only averaging nine points with six rebounds, six assists, and two steals. Look for him to try and cause trouble for Harden and Westbrook defensively, though. D’Angelo Russell is still a scoring machine out west, too. He’s averaging 22 points on 35 percent three-point shooting, six assists and three rebounds.

As for the unknown Warriors, Eric Paschall’s seized his opportunity in the paltry Golden State lineup and looks like a real player. The rookie is averaging 15 points, five rebounds and two assists. Even when Curry and Thompson return, he could be a piece to the franchise’s revival. After that, it gets ugly.

Burks is the next-best scorer, and he only shoots 42 percent from the field. After him comes Robinson III, who’s been hot shooting 39 percent from three on the season, but does little else. Then comes Lee, a 40 percent shooter, then Green.

Woof.

The Rockets give some reasons to watch this game

For those who care to stick around, Rockets-Warriors won’t be entirely pointless. James Harden could go for the game of the year against a horrid defense ill-equipped to stop anyone, better yet him. Could he go for 50? Sixty? This is his best chance to go off on a main stage.

Westbrook fans could be in for a fun night, too. He’s caught fire as of late, shooting better. than 42 percent (that’s big for him) from the floor in his last eight games, including 13-of-17 for 34 points against the Kings, and three 30-point double-doubles. He could wipe the floor with the Warriors backups, and backups to the backups.

And hey, if this game flips upside down and the Zombie Warriors win, that’s a reason to watch too.

Update: this game ruled and the Warriors proved us wrong

While you were napping, the Warriors beat the Rockets, 116-104, in the most exciting Christmas game so far. It’s the biggest upset on Christmas in 30 years!

Damion Lee had 22 points for Golden State. Russell and Green each scored 20. The Warriors held Harden to 24 points. This game ended up being a lot more fun than we thought.