Bill Belichick arrived in Minnesota dressed like a prohibition-era detective
NEW HAT!
Sometimes you’ve got to reinvent yourself, and in the lead up to Super Bowl 52, Bill Belichick now comes with a new hat.
This new Dragnet Belichick comes with more features than any other Belichick has in the past. It has the grizzled demeanor and football knowledge you’ve come to love, but with so many new abilities — all built into a stylish hat.
This new Belichick has advanced features like ...
- Busting up underground speakeasies.
- Chasing rum-runners around Widow’s Neckbone.
- Subpar hostage negotiation techniques.
- Finding out which kids keep opening the fire hydrants during summer.
- Advanced suit carrying.
- Tossing hooch barrels into the disused grain silo down on 10th.
- And many more!
Buy now using your credit card and we’ll double your offer! That’s right, two Dragnet Belichicks for the price of one. Take one into the sandpit and leave one on your nightstand to judge your breathing technique while you sleep.