Michael Phelps on depression: ‘I am extremely thankful that I did not take my life’

Phelps opened up again with candid thoughts about what he went through.

On Friday, Michael Phelps candidly discussed his mental health and struggles with depression, something that he has opened up about significantly over the past few years. At a behavior health advocacy conference, the Kennedy Forum, Phelps admitted in a CNN interview once again that he did consider suicide

Phelps said the “hardest fall” happened following the 2012 Olympics, even after he won four gold medals and two more silvers. Phelps admitted that in the months that followed, he would spend days at a time in his bedroom without eating and barely sleeping while “not wanting to be alive.”

“I didn’t want to be in the sport anymore,” Phelps said. “I didn’t want to be alive anymore.”

Over the last two years, Michael Phelps has openly discussed what he went through. He married Nicole Johnson in June 2016 after the two had a child together the month before.

“I am extremely thankful that I did not take my life,” Phelps said in the CNN interview.

Phelps has discussed thinking about suicide before. In an emotional interview with Bob Costas in 2016, Phelps talked about how he barely trained for the 2012 London Olympics, and reflected on his 2014 DUI arrest. Regarding suicide, Phelps said this:

“There were thoughts about, like how would I do it, but I knew I never would, because I knew I would hurt so many people, me included.”

It’s heartening to see Phelps to be able to discuss his life so freely from such a rockbottom point in his life. He’s sharing his experiences with a purpose, trying to be an example for others who have dealt or are dealing with similar experiences.

“(Mental illness) has a stigma around it and that’s something we still deal with every day,” Phelps said in the CNN interview. “I think people actually finally understand it is real. People are talking about it and I think this is the only way that it can change.”

Phelps continued: “Those moments and those feelings and those emotions for me are light years better than winning the Olympic gold medal.”