England badminton No1 Toby Penty reveals ‘anger and sadness’ after losing his hair following alopecia diagnosis

ENGLAND’S No1 badminton star admitted he felt “anger and sadness” as he lost his hair due to alopecia.

Toby Penty, 27, first spotted a small bald spot on his head after a haircut in November 2018.

AFP - Getty

Getty Images - Getty

Since then, the London-based ace has lost every hair on his body and endured difficulties with his identity and mental health as a result.

Like all top-level athletes in the UK, sport has been put on hold for Penty during the coronavirus crisis – but that has given him time to reflect on the changes and challenges of the past 18 months.

He said: “It was a mixture of anger and sadness.

“I felt my identity had gone initially, especially when the eyebrows went. That’s when I really struggled because it looked like someone different when I looked in the mirror.

“There were a lot of times over the last year or 18 months when I wished I could have put my racquet down for a longer time and focused on myself a bit more.

“As much as I wouldn’t have wanted it to be a pandemic that stopped me from playing, personally it’s been the best thing that could have happened for me to be able to take some time to myself.”

From that haircut onwards, Penty continued to lose hair – not just on his head but across his body – as it became clear he had alopecia universalis, a rarer and more advanced form of the condition.

Speaking bravely and openly to BBC Sport, the Fulham fan added: “There wasn’t really much they could recommend for it, it was one of those things to wait and see how it progressed. That was quite frustrating.

Once it stopped and I realised I had to come to terms with this and not knowing whether it was permanent or whether my hair would come back, that’s when it really started to hit me.

Toby Penty

“The longer it went on and the more apparent it was, it was quite scary in the fact that it only got faster. It wasn’t like it was a little bit every day, it was happening more and more and it was more and more hair coming out.

“I’d finish training and go and have a shower, then I’d dry my hair and there was loads coming out.

“It hit me harder after the whole process finished, because after my head, it was my eyebrows, my eyelashes, my chest.

“It was easier to process when it was happening, but once it stopped and I realised I had to come to terms with this and not knowing whether it was permanent or whether my hair would come back, that’s when it really started to hit me.”

In December, Penty underwent a procedure on his head called micropigmentation, with natural pigments tattooed on his scalp giving the impression of hair follicles.

It helped boost his mental health, which took a hit with the rapid change in appearance and led to him seeing a psychiatrist.

The world No52 added: “It’s small steps to making me, at least when I’m looking in the mirror, feel more like myself.

“At the start, I didn’t really want to talk about alopecia or even the word. I had dissociated myself from it.

“Seeing a psychiatrist helped me to understand things a lot better and a lot clearer. It’s been a gradual thing to come to terms with but that was definitely the first step.

“I feel like I tried to rush myself into feeling good about myself again rather than letting this process take the time it needed.

“I think nowadays we are always trying to rush everything. I think it’s OK to give yourself time, and that’s something I have learned – that time is a good healer.”